When I'm An Old Lady

This came in an email to me this week. I may have received it before I was a mom of 4. Somehow, today, it seems funny to me. And while I'm living with Tyler, I'll have to get down to my birthday suit at nap and bedtime and pee and poo on the floor (his favorite new hobby).

When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,
And bring so much happiness just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.
Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids...


I'll write on the walls with reds, whites, and blues,
And bounce on the furniture.....wearing my shoes.
I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids...

When they're on the phone and just out of reach,
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.
Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
And when that is done, I'll hide under the bed.

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids...

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat.
I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry...I'll run....if I'm able!

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids...

I'll sit close to the T.V., through the channels I'll click
I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
I'll take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids...

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan, "She's so sweet when she's sleeping!"


--- Copyright © 1991 -- Joanne Bailey Baxter, Lorain, OH